Which of these foods bring you back to childhood?
Maybe that’s all anybody could hope for anymore: pleasant memories. If you look back on recent history, you will quickly find yourself lost in a sea of scrutiny. Crooked leaders and twisted systems designed for them and not you.
Which is why so many people hold on to their memories. They represent a time in their lives when things were less morose and more meaningful. When a sunny summer’s day was enjoyed with a frozen treat and beneath the trees.
Childhood is gone. No more carefree afternoons in the park. Now you’re in that meeting going over numbers or stuck in that truck unloading box after box after box. If only there was a way to bring it all back … But too bad there’s not.
In any event, you can always find memories on the internet, like the foods you recall from a different time and place.
1 WWF Ice Cream Bars
Growing up with the grumbling grown men of the Word Wrestling Federation (now known as World Wrestling Entertainment) had to be a strange trip for young fans. These were superheroes and villains who came to life, thrown into tights. But despite the blurred reality, these young fans could always come back to a childhood staple like ice cream.
More specifically, the WWF Ice Cream Bars, which featured the most popular wrestlers of the time. In recent years, these ice cream bars were brought back but without their signature stick. Which means they are no longer ice cream bars, but rather ice cream sandwiches.
2 Oreo O’s
Twist the cookie apart, lick the center, put the cookie back together, dunk into the milk, and then enjoy. That’s the proper way to eat an Oreo, right? We all learned this from the commercials growing up. But what about the breakfast cereal?
Oreo O’s provided kids with an excuse to consume cookies for breakfast. What better way to begin the day than with this sugary substance? Send the kids to school on this high-string breakfast cereal. In most markets, Oreo O’s have since been discontinued, but they have not vanished completely from circulation. Although, they are hard to find.
3 Looney Tunes Frozen Meals
There is an unmistakable set of cartoon characters that exist within the hearts and minds of many generations: the great Looney Tunes. They were colorful and even controversial at times, but they were always there, in some capacity.
These off-the-wall characters played a role in the Saturday morning mischief that was childhood. And when lunchtime came around, the Looney Tunes were never that far out of reach. In fact, they had their own line of frozen meals. Sure, these meals were full of rubber-like meats and gooey desserts, but they were fun. And who wouldn’t want one more bite of this taste bud torture?
Fantasies of flying are never uncommon among the young. Space travel and galaxy exploration are not far behind this dream of flight either. Enter Orbitz. This drink was designed for those who wish to be somewhere far away from here.
With tiny gelatin balls floating around, this drink was essentially a consumable lava lamp. Maybe it missed with the kids, but surely the stoners would take to this far-our new liquid creation. At least one would think. But unfortunately for Orbtiz, the drink was quickly discontinued. Maybe it was ahead of its time. Maybe the kids didn’t care. Maybe the stoners forgot their wallets.
5 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza-Crunchabungas
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are not just your everyday action heroes. They’re anthropomorphic turtles. They were trained by a rat. They feel human emotions. They eat pizza. And they’re worth a damn fortune. From television shows to feature films, the Turtles have seen their share of screen-time.
But it doesn’t end there. The Turtles come in toy form as well, and are among some of the most popular action figures of all time. So with all that success, why not food? The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza-Crunchabungas were more-or-less pizza-flavored corn puffs, but the bag they came in was top-notch.
6 Hubba Bubba Bubble Jug
Bubble gum comics. Bubble gum pop songs. Bubble gum everything. Who can be sad when there’s bubble gum around? Especially when it comes in powdered form. Powder that tickles your tongue before turning into gum. How did they do that?
Hubba Bubba gum hasn’t gone anywhere. You can find it at any local store. But where did the Bubble Jug go? There was a time when walking around with a Hubba Bubba Bubble Jug in your pocket made you the schoolyard dealer. “Gimme some of that sweet stuff and I’ll give you a quarter.” Powdered gum was poured into somebody’s palm, and the gum-based transaction was complete.
7 Mr. T. Cereal
When you think about icons from the eighties, you will likely find your way to Mr. T at some point. The loud, motivational man who wore thick gold chains and cut his hair in a Mohawk-style. Hell, you can probably hear him screaming right now. Like most stars of the time, Mr. T was not about to allow his newfound fame go to waste.
If there was a win of opportunity, Mr. T was breaking through the glass and coming out of the other side chewing on the shards. And that’s why we had Mr. T cereal: a sweetened concoction of corn and oats that had fans of the man-eating away with Mr. T-like enthusiasm.
8 Flintstones Push-Ups
The Flintstones are old-school. So old-school that Fred and Barney once endorsed cigarettes and beer. In contrast, these Push-Up pops are harmless; or at least less harmful than having cigarette-stink lungs and a bloated booze liver. If you’re searching for these Push-Up pops, you can certainly locate some, somewhere on the internet.
While they’re not gone, they’re definitely not the same, as certain flavors have been eliminated from this frozen Flintstones world. And what’s the point of locating something from your childhood if it’s not really from your childhood? Maybe you should have a cigarette and a beer instead.
9 Ez Squirt Ketchup
Ketchup is a beloved condiment. Millions of people squirt millions of gallons of it each year on top of French fries, cheeseburgers, eggs, and even Kraft Dinner. Yes, the ketchup bottle may very well be the true king of the kitchen.
So it was only natural for Heinz to make ketchup even more unnatural when they introduced green and purple versions of the sinister stuff about twenty years ago. The EZ Squirt line was a psychedelic take on an old classic. Of course, the green and purple experience was short-lived, and soon we would be forced to divert back to reliable red for all our ketchup needs.
10 Butterfinger BB’s
There are few people in North America who are not familiar with the Simpson family. Their television show has stood the test of time, proving that dysfunctional family antics and youthful misadventures are just as popular now as ever before.
Bart Simpson warned us not to lay a finger on his Butterfinger; a candy bar that became popular enough to earn its own spinoff in the form of Butterfinger BB’s. But Bart’s blatant disregard for authority couldn’t keep these cool candy balls around. Sure, you can now find Butterfinger Bites, but they are simply silver medal BB’s, as nothing compares to the original.
11 Eggo Waf-Fulls
The waffle is a wonderful breakfast item. Homemade being best. But of course, we live among a fast-paced, hustle and bustle, breakfast-on-the-go society. Which is why the Eggo waffle was always such a handy little toaster treat. But hey. Why have regular waffles when you can have Eggo Waf-Fulls?
These things were literally filled with jam and felt like a weird hybrid of waffle and jelly donut. It was almost as if you could inject jam into the center of anything and make it work. But the Waf-Fulls would not find the same success as the regular Eggo. They were soon gone, leaving holes in people’s hearts as they searched to fill them with jam.
12 Pepsi Blue
Turn all foods and beverages blue to match the general feeling of humanity. We are the blue bunch, so give us blue to consume. Give us blue to feel better about always feeling blue. Give us blue to ease our blues. Maybe Pepsi believed that blue was better when they introduced their new drink early in this century.
The liquid matched the can and the customers were ready to drink it up, or so Pepsi thought. It turns out, people don’t want to compromise the color of their Pepsi. Pepsi Blue was on the shelves for nearly two years before finally fluttering away into the abyss of mass-market soda shame.
Yogurt has never been considered an exciting food, especially with the kids. Let’s face the facts here. It’s yogurt. How exciting can it really be? So how do you jazz-up this bland bacteria? Add sprinkles, of course. Dannon knew this, and went ahead with a plan to include sprinkles with their yogurt.
No more plain vanilla in the lunchbox. The kids were sure to go crazy for this brand new idea. What a way to innovate yogurt. But the facts remain true. It’s still just yogurt. Adding a little bit of candy doesn’t help a whole lot. What a shame for Sprinkl’ins.
14 PB Max
Peanut butter is undoubtedly the gooey god of snack foods. Cover it with chocolate and you have a match made in unwholesome heaven. If you can’t hear the angels singing, it’s likely because they have peanut butter stuck on the roofs of their mouths.
PB Max was a hit from the start, and would eventually generate over fifty-million dollars in sales during its time in circulation. But in a flash, PB Max was gone. So what the hell happened? Why would such a successful treat get pulled from the shelves? According to rumors, the Mars family were not fans of peanut butter, and their distaste alone was enough for them to pull the PB Max from production.
15 Magic Middles
Who can forget those euphoric little elves living in their tree baking cookies all day? What a life to live. Obviously diabetes doesn’t exist within the magical realm. Where the elves live, happiness is found in the center of a cookie. Which is why we were introduced to Keebler Fudge Magic Middles.
These shortbread cookies were stuffed with chocolate fudge or peanut butter filling, making the already delicious Keebler cookie that much more delectable. But magic isn’t real and the illusion couldn’t last. Soon enough these cookies were gone with the whimsical wind of this Wonderland-type utopia.
Gatorade is synonymous with sports. It’s the drink of the athlete. The beverage of the ballistic ballplayers. The electrolyte charge that fuels competition. It’s the cooler that gets dumped on the winning coach. It’s good old Gatorade. And that’s how we should know Gatorade; in its liquid form.
But that wasn’t always the case. Yes, there was once another way to get your Gatorade, and that was through Gatorgum. Chewing your sports drink? Why not? Well, Gatorgum was far from being Gatorade. And despite claims that the gum could “quench your thirst,” it didn’t quite live up to that promise.
17 Nintendo Cereal System
Among our current culture, video games are some of the hottest commodities. Gamers spend hours plucking away at their controllers and living vicariously through the virtual beings they see on their television sets. But before gaming became an addiction, it was merely an added little bonus to someone’s entertainment system.
“Turn on that Nintendo and let’s play some Mario.” The video smack wasn’t as strong back then and addiction wasn’t as common. Nevertheless, Nintendo was still popular. Maybe not as popular as PlayStation, but popular. Which is why they came out with their own cereal, that lasted for a year.
18 Michael’s Secret Stuff
In the movie Space Jam, Michael Jordan joins the Looney Tunes to play a game of basketball against a team of monsters from a different planet. And in pure cinematic coincidence, the Looney Tunes’ team is down at halftime.
But that’s when Jordan introduces, “Michael’s Secret Stuff,” which is nothing more than a bottle of water. Convinced the bottle contains the secret to Jordan’s skill, the team passes the bottle around, creating a placebo effect in the process. For a limited time, this so-called secret was available for purchase. But Michael’s Secret Stuff was essentially blue sugar in a bottle.
When Squeezit juice drinks came along, there was seemingly no more need for a straw. Apple and orange juice from a carton? No way. Bring this crazy Squeezit character to school and allow your friends to embrace the madness.
Squeezit hung around for a while and put forth a strong showing out on the market. But all glory days eventually turn into gory nights. And soon the sun would set on Squeezit. It came back twice more for limited runs, but Squeezeit was never the same. The luster was lost and the generation who once adored Squeezit had grown up and moved on to Starbucks.
The character of Steve Urkel was scheduled to make one appearance on the sitcom, Family Matters. But the reception was too much to ignore, and the producers knew that they needed to act on the positive feedback they received from the show’s new nerd. It wasn’t long before Steve Urkel became the main character of the show.
Urkel’s surging popularity could only mean one thing: money. They needed to sell it before it went stale, and this is why Urkel-Os were born. But the cereal never caught on as much as the character and Urkel-Os were doomed to join the ranks of celebrity-endorsed novelty act nostalgia.